him or her?
by xXxSecretdesirexXx
Summary: Edward has everything anybody could want, except someone to love him. When Bella swan comes to Forks he's torn in two. Will his decisions effect his life forever? all human. rated m for later chapters. R&R jen xxx
1. Working out

**Au:**_** meant as a joke, a laugh if you will. I am not that loopy although I came up with the idea. Anyway this is only a introduction chapter. So please bare with me. Please Review I really want people to enjoy this story.**_

**_ HAPPY READING!!!:)_**

My summer had gone fabulous. I had truly discovered myself as Alice had discovered me too and now she hated me.

I made her promise to keep my secret but it didn't keep her from using it against me. I resented her for it but she was my sister so I let her away with.

God school tomorrow. Didn't the girls here in forks not get it. It wasn't that hard to figure out. They just weren't attractive. Yeah they had bit tits but I'd prefer to talk to a tree I'd probably get a better response.

The girls here became brain dead when I was in a ten mile radius. I was gorgeous no point lying. I understood there looks of awe but god you think being rejected once was enough for each of them clearly it wasn't.

I showered quickly and went to bed knowing tomorrow was going to be filled with stupid questions like how was your summer? None of your god damn business. Go anywhere nice? Yes you? Get yourself a girlfriend? God no I wasn't into girl well I was but at the moment Boys were more preferable. I was NOT gay I was Bi-sexual. There is a difference I liked cock and Pussy.

Hmm the Idea of a threesome flashed behind my eyes and instantly had a hard on. Of course one girls. Two girls Gah that idea even hurt my head. Two girls drooling over me! One was enough! That night was one of the most peaceful I had in awhile.

I woke and dressed quickly hoping to avoid Alice. Its just it was easier on her and it also benefit me.

I walked into the kitchen where I saw Alice I went to get some orange juice where she muttered "Fag" under her breath and left the room.

First days at school great a new year of girls and a few months worth of me giving out rejections the joys of it. I didn't bother to wait around the house I got into my Volvo and made my way to school and parked in the reserved Parking space I had acquired since being a junior. The benefits of being a hot bloke.

Aw Mickey Newton How I loathed him and wanted him. The hole school new he was bent was Bi but the way he went about you, your bound to think he was a queer. Funny how the hole place accepted it, wonder what would be said if I came "out of the closet".

I stood out of the car and watched the girls faces drop and noticed Mickey walk my way.

"Morning Eddie Darling how have you been?" He grabbed my Bicep "Working out I see"

He winked at me and walked away.

That was a first and that's when I saw her. The hottest chick Id ever seen. She had long brown wavy hair that reach down to wear I'm guessing her Bra trap was. She was skinny but not anorexia. Gorgeous was a word that kept flashing in my head . Her hazel eyes looked me over and smiled. Then she walked on by.

That was a first. That never happen well not to me Edward Cullen. Girls swoon at the sight of me.

Who was this chick? She wasn't a junior and I hadn't seen her before. My mind was telling me to follow her but my heart was completely torn into.

You like Mickey but you like this chick. I thought I discovered myself but what now. I felt drawn to both of them who would it be??

Him or Her???

**Okay so what did you think?? **

**Its going to be funnier but I thought making Edward Bi was enough for one chapter..**

**Please, Please, Please Review.**

**Love you **

**jen xxxx**


	2. Im mickey

**Okay so this isnt as long as I initially planned but Im holding out untill the next chapter, as my friend wanted me to update today. Anyway Please review and Il get the next chapter up as soon as possible or as soon as I write enjoy.**

I walked into the school with a smile spread across my face. I could see Mike's cute little ass in a pair of tight fitting jeans. What a view?

Suddenly Lauren, Jessica and Angela burst into a chorus of "Hey Mickey!" The cheerleaders had taken a shine to him ever since he joined the Squad last spring. Nobody was expecting it but Mike pulled out his pink pompoms and joined into the routine.

"I'm Mickey I'm so fine I'm so fine I blow your mind I'm Mickey". I was aware the new chick started laughing at the performance in front of her. Nobody else had the courage to laugh and every time she seem to be getting together another round of laughter would come.

Fuck Mike was approaching her. "What are you laughing at Beeatch?"

"Apparently you Mickey" Another round of laughter escaped her lips as her arms moved in imitation of the previous routine. By now the whole school was laughing and a blush was creeping into Mikes cheeks.

"You're Just jealous of my pompoms" He waved them in her face. Bored with his response. She just walked away.

Just then Mr. Williams called the crowd to a silence and I was aware the new chick was standing in front of me. I could smell her hair from here and it smelled of peaches.

"I would like to introduce you all to Isabella Marie Swan she has just moved here from Arizona was Head cheerleader at her old school a swimsuit model and a mathlete." A round of clapping broke out and much to my annoyance Mike stared at her with awe.

Just as we were being excuse Bella took a step forward tripping on one of the random grates on the ground but luckily I caught her.

"I was planning on having you fall for me but this is just ridiculous" I smiled and she looked slightly amused and then it turned to degust. I helped her up and was aware she didn't blush at her misfortune.

"That was a terrible line don't embarrass yourself and use it again" she smiled. I decided now was as good a time for introductions.

"I'm Edward Cullen" I stuck how my hand for her to shake it but no such luck.

"Oh I know who you are"

"How?" I asked stunned and slightly bewildered.

"Hun, I have connections, you're the most sought after gent in all of Forks but you don't date apparently which suggests you think your above these people or your gay. So which one is it?" she had a no-it-all voice while speaking but it suited her.

"I am not gay" Technically it wasn't lying but it wasn't telling the truth either.

"Well that's good, come sit with me" I allowed her to drag me along behind her aware she was taking no notice to the glares she was receiving from the girls who populated this school including the staff.

I sat across the way from her and looked anywhere but at her. Oh God Alice at nine o clock. I wasn't religious but now was as good a time as any to start.

"Dear Jesus I swear to you if you prevent Alice from coming over here I'll do anything" (Lie) I muttered to myself.

"Homosexual" it rolled of her tongue as she walked past. Bella looked shocked and outraged.

"Hey you pixie chick?" Alice turned to glare at her.

"Apologize to him now"

"Bella relax its Alice my sister we had a bit of an argument this morning" she sat back down but Alice continued to throw me daggers as she walked into the arms of the awaiting Jasper.

**Okay so what you think??**

**It about to get interesting. I swear!! Scouts honor lol**

**Please review **

**luv ya Jen xxx**


	3. baby bottomed

**I'd like to apologize about the shortnest of these chapters. Again this story is meant as a joke nothing and review.**

I didn't want to leave Bella but we had two different classes. I had Maths with Mike, God those Jeans were so tight and she had something with some other people.

I made my way to maths and sat in the chair beside Mike it wasn't my usual seat but it would do.

One and one is two I mentally said to myself. This class was so boring. Hey what was this a hand was on my leg and I looked to see Mike smiling. His hand inched higher up my tight. Rubbing and groping within any minute his hand would be on my crown jewels and he'd feel my raging hard on.

Why was I condoning this? I though I wanted Bella but maybe I wanted Mike. My feelings were fucked. Right now I probably wouldn't know the difference between up and down or in and out! Then his hand was on them and a low moan escaped my lips. Shit he couldn't know I liked it.

"Edward you seem to be blushing" he whispered in my ear. I could feel his hand stroking me through the material of my trousers and I just wished there wasn't that barrier between our skin. I looked at him and glared letting him know I wanted it without saying anything as the urge to moan was overwhelming.

Just then the bell went and he removed his hand as quickly as he had put it there. He turned to leave.

"Mike" I called and he turned to face me. It was now or never and I felt myself kiss him. His lips were chapped and degusting but this kiss was like nothing I'd felt from any male before.

I heard the door open to see Bella standing there with her mouth hanging open looking shocked . She turned and walked away and I immediately followed her. Leaving Mike to his thoughts.

"Bella wait" but she continued on walking as if I hadn't called her. She walked into the girls bathroom probably assuming I wouldn't follow. Boy was she wrong. Id been in here many times. Each time gaining a new experience but that hadn't happened in awhile now.

"Edward Get the fuck out, you lying man-whore!" she didn't even bother to look at me as it was if I was nothing more than dirt on her shoe and fuck it, it hurt. So what I enjoyed kissing Mike. Call a lawyer sue me. This was way O.T.T.

"I did not lie" I replied politely and she looked shocked.

"Didn't lie so you just turned gay in oh I don't know the last ten minutes" Okay now I was going to lie I wanted her and I needed to be on good terms with her if I was expecting to get any which of course I was.

"He mauled onto me and was groping me in class, Was actually quite disgusting to be honest. I mean If my lips were that chapped I'd personally bring out my own type of lip-balm and attempt to make millions" I smiled at myself and the memory of him locking lips with mine at first I though they'd fucking break the skin and leave scars on my gorgeous baby bottom smooth face.

**okay what did you think??**

**jen xxxx**


	4. Im not an Edwardtologist

**Okay so this is also really short and I apologize but I not getting the love I wanted for this story but I sahll continue to write it anyway as My friend Lea absolutely adores it and wont stop pesturing me about enjoy and Review if you want more soon.**

B.P.O.V

Did he seriously just say Mike kissed him. How many times had I heard this line from previous boyfriends? Was he actually expecting me to believe him? I turned to gaze at him and he looked upset. He saw me and turned this absolutely sexy crooked smile at me.

I could feel my breath hitch. Did he not know the effect he had on people? Wait I was suppose to be mad, not staring at him like a love sick puppy. That would get me no-where. I didn't no if I wanted him and at the moment I was rather repulsed to no Mike Newton the queer had his tongue stuck down Edwards throat. I was ready to kill.

Jealous. It flashed inside my head like a light bulb. Was I? I'd known him less than two hours. I wasn't couldn't be, NOT POSSIBLE but I knew I was hurt and I had know reason to be.

Just then I realised I was still in the bathroom with Edward and I wasn't saying anything. God I was a Idiot.

"So?" He said after a few more seconds of silence.

"So what, you snogged Mike Newton in front of me, you know I'm contemplating gouging my eyes out. Or getting in a accident and hope this morning is lost from my memory" I cringed that image was burned into my brain probably be a key factor in my up-coming nightmares.

"Can you please not say that again? I'm Bi-sexual Bella so really Mike might have read the signs wrong? I thought I was sending out the vibe stating GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME obviously not" I laughed, He made me feel better just then. Wait, What? Bi-sexual he hadn't said this before.

"Bi-sexual?" I gasped.

"Yes you know I like men and women" I looked at him flabbergasted.

"I know what Bi-sexual is, why didn't you tell me?"

"I just did"

"I meant before now" I was beginning to get angry and he was making me sound stupid. God I did like him I definitely liked him. This was bad very bad.

"It wasn't important" That killed me, he definitely didn't like me. " I didn't think you'd understand and when you accused me of being gay I kinda just put up a defence and I couldn't put it back down." I hoped he didn't notice but there were tears in my eyes.

"Makes sense, so are you like more into men or women?" I was actually curious.

"I don't know" It was simple quick and direct and automatically I knew he was hiding something but I didn't push him.

"So how many people know?" I asked so I'd no whether it was okay to talk about it.

"Including you, three, able to keep a secret?" he smiled that breathtaking smile again so I just nodded.

The bell went then and I decided to go back to class and think about what had just happen. I got up and made my way to the door. I waved as he walked in the opposite direction.

I was relieved I hadn't freaked out or thrown a bitch fit. That wouldn't have ended well for either of us.

I was relieved he wasn't completely gay, why I didn't know. It was clear he didn't hold any interest for me, but I was still happy knowing. I knew he was lying about Mike he was like a girl you always deny who your crushing on but then again I wasn't a Edwardtologist so maybe I was wrong. I hoped I was.

**Okay dont ask where I got Edwardtologist from cause it was just a random thing that came into my head.**

**oh in future chapters this goes really O.T.T.**

**its meant as a joke so dont forget that please.**

**Anyway review. PLEASE WITH CHERRIES ON TOP!!! OR STRAWBERRIES THERE NICER**

**Love you **

**jen xxx**


	5. Jacob

**okay so this is especially for ALTBABE she rocks and she is so nice. Is it long enough for you??**

**well I seeked this on as my mother is collecting my sisters *evil grin* I hope you like it well anybody who cares to read it.**

**enjoy**

Bella left the bathroom happier than she entered. I was a fucking brilliant liar but at least I had informed her that I was a bi-sexual and she didn't seem to pissed of by it as I thought she and the rest of the population of Forks would be.

I mean I didn't get why I told her. I mean it's not like I loved her or wanted to be excepted by her. I just fell that I should, that I owed her that much but really deep inside I knew I was just trying to convince myself that she meant nothing to me when clearly she did. This thing whatever it was, was messing with my head.

She just seem so cool, so at ease with herself like she had figured high school out. I don't know how but she made it seem easy when clearly it wasn't.

I didn't get another moment to myself for the rest day. Either Mike was with me trying to maul me again or Bella was at my side smiling at me. It was rather dazzling. I didn't even no a girl had the ability to dazzle me and I found it quite refreshing.

It wasn't until after school that I saw Mike heading my way. I wanted to dodge him but I was waiting on Bella.. "Eddie-kens how are you baby?" Mike purred.

"fine" I replied clearly not in the mood for a conversation with Mike. I don't know why I was a attracted to him in the first place. He was nothing compared to my Bella. I must have been really caught up in my thoughts cause after a minute I felt his chapped lips on mine again for the second time today. I so did not need this.

"He's sending out the STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME VIBE you oxy-moron" Mike immediately stood back to see Bella glaring at him.

"He seemed to be enjoying it from what I could tell. Don't tell me your Jealous?" he questioned she started laughing and I felt hurt but I wasn't sure why.

"You clearly don't know what enjoyment is then" she walked over to me and began to kiss me until a moan escaped my lips. She pulled away to find Mike shooting daggers at her. "That he enjoyed"

She began to walk away and then stopped to call over her shoulder. "Invest in lip balm your tearing Edwards lips apart" she smiled at me and walked off.

That was really weird but god she was a brilliant meet. I mean wow, not even the lads during the summer were that great. Nothing compared to the way her lips felt on mine or the way I felt her breath enter my mouth. It was like something else something foreign and new.

I couldn't help thinking about it as I drove and instead of ending up at home. I arrive outside her house. No point not going in I said to myself. I knock on her front door to be greeted by Chief Swan who was just putting his gun belt on.

"Is Bella there?" I asked keeping eye contact to show that I wasn't scare well at least I was telling myself I had no reason to be.

"Oh yeah top of the stairs to your left" He walked out and let me into his house. For a cop he was very trusting. I may look like a normal teen but for all he knew I could be a serial rapist and he didn't even ask my name. Weird.

I walked up the stairs and heard sniffles coming from behind the shut door. Oh God Please I'm begging you let her have a cold and not be crying.

Unfortunately faith was not so kind to me. I opened the door to find her lying face down on her bed crying.

"Get out dad" She mumbled.

"I'm not your dad and thank fuck for that" I smiled and she looked up shocked.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked as she try to subtlety fix her hair.

"More important question why are you crying?" I asked surprised that I actually was concerned for her.

"You" she pointed a finger at me "You said there was nothing with you and Mike and you snog him in the school car park are you fucking insane like?" the rage was evident in her voice, but I didn't care it was clear she was Jealous and an angry Bella was so freaking erotic.

"Jealously doesn't become you" I smiled

"Edward your out of your closet half the school saw you kissing" then it hit me she was ashamed of me and my bi-sexuality.

"Bella all you had to do was say, I understand you cant be associated with the bi-sexual of the village" I looked at her and I look of utter disbelief was on her face.

"Edward Cullen are you well in the head? I wouldn't care if you had aids and one eye I care that you let him kiss you again and out of rage I kissed you after Mike had you, I'm probably a whore or the girl who tried to turn you straight" she looked so ashamed and I ached to comfort her but I was at a loss as to know how.

"Oh Bella" I pulled her into a hug and she cried into my shoulder until I could feel her tears on my arm.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled after a few minutes of silence.

"Don't be" I whispered in response.

"I'm sorry about your shirt too" she smiled up at me and I could see how big the wet patch was on my skirt. I just nodded in response.

"Hey take it off and I'll wash it" I looked at her funny.

"Are you serious"

"Do I look serious, if you don't take it off I 'l just have to take it off you" she smiled and I actually had heart palpitations.

She reached over and began undoing my shirt. I shrugged out of it when she was done.

"Be back in two" she left the room and I began to snoop. There was a picture of her with Barney the purple dinosaur. It was so cute and creepy cause she looked like she was ten. There was a picture of her and her mother and I swear they looked identical except one had a few wrinkles. I began to wonder if she had a boyfriend and then I saw a picture of her with this tan muscled boy, that looked the same age as me.

I picked up the photo and looked at the back and it said Bella and Jacob and there was a heart around it. I felt like I was going to gag. I put it back down and waited on the bed but every two minutes my eyes would wander back to the photo and I felt like ripping it into shreds and walking out of her house, so that's what I did.

I stormed down the stairs a bit over dramatic. "Edward what are you doing?" she called.

"Im leaving" I raged

"Why and what about your shirt?"

"Keep it" I stormed out her front door and took off I could see her in my rear view mirror, shock evident on her face.

**so what do you think??**

**hehe interesting I know.**

**well review.**

**love Jen xxx**


	6. spring dance

**okay so this is Chapt 6 and things are going to get really interesting in the next chapter (I THINK) I actually cant remember but it's soon I wrote it ages i have to say hi to Lea as she moaning I dont include her in my authors note (so get over it now Bitch) oh also hey ALTBABE I know you will be reading this and hey to everybody else you comes across this story. Im aware this chapter is really short so I apologizing now for it. SORRY**

**anyway go read now!!! I command you.**

Chapter 6

It was two days to the spring dance and I hadn't spoken to Bella since the incident in her house. I noticed she wore my skirt once and made it look better than I ever could but then I though about her in one of Jacobs shirt and felt like throwing up.

I was going to ask her to the spring dance as my way as apologizing. I know I was leaving it late but sure she probably wasn't going to go anyway. Well I though she wasn't until I heard someone say she had excepted Mike's invitation. I wanted to kill that son-of- a- bitch and I wanted to kill her for saying yes.

I didn't see Mike until Maths which was fifth period. "Why are you bringing Bella to the dance?" I asked.

"Cause she's hot as hell and I needed a date even if it doesn't mean anything" He smiled.

"Mike?" I called after a moment of silence.

"Yes sweetie!" He winked at me, he actually had the nerve to wink and call me sweetie.

"Nothing don't worry about it"

"Were not Jealous now are we Cullen?" he looked like this was want he wanted and it hit me. It wasn't her he was after it was me.

"Of you, unlikely" I moved seats in the middle of the class and sat beside Angela who seemed to be good friends with Bella.

"Are you jealous Edward?" she asked in a whisper.

"I don't know a tiny bit"

"Not what I meant Edward I mean of Jacob" My fist clenched and she took that as confirmation.

"Don't be, He died last year in a car accident, Bella sobbed for two days over you ripping her picture, it was her favourite" Oh fuck.

"Really, I knew I was being an Idiot but it kinda happened" she nodded. I liked her, she didn't dwell on shit and just seemed to except it.

"Edward" she said after a minute.

"She likes you, don't hurt her she cant handle it" Oh way to make me feel bad. I already had. I nodded in response and closed my eyes and grabbed the bridge of my nose. Great, way to go Edward.

The next two days passed without incident. Tonight was the dance and I was prepared for everything. Well I hoped I was.

I didn't know if I'd cope to well if I saw Mike's hands all over Bella's body. He mightend up losing a hand if he did anything I found inappropriate. People might begin to doubt his sexuality. I had to wait on Jasper Emmett Rosalie and Angela, I asked her as she seemed nice and would probably keep me in check if I needed it.

They arrive within minutes of each other. Angela had a red dress on and it complemented her skin flawlessly but still she was no Bella. We got in the limo and made our way to school. It was the only place in Forks big enough to hold a dance.

**so what you think?? **

**Review **

**love jen xxx**


	7. she's mine

**Okay this is short again but it's from Mike's point of view. I hope you like it, I think it's alright and funny enough. So tell me what you think opinions wanted. GO READ...**

Chapter 7

M.P.O.V

I arrived with Bella and trust me she was HOT but I wanted Edward Cullen and this girl wasn't going to do. I knew Edward wanted her and I was aware he wanted me on some level. I had been pining after him for years but I was only receiving signals recently and they were screaming COME AND GET IT. So that's what I did.

The first kiss was amazing but then she had to go and screw it up. I saw the look he once gave me in his eyes when he looked at her now. A look of poor unadulterated lust and I wanted it back. I really wanted it back. He was probably the good looking Bi-sexual in all of Forks.

Bella was wearing this short little number, you couldn't see her ass but her tits were in full view and I saw half the males population Jaw drop when she entered and whispers of Slut and Whore but she didn't seem to care. We went straight to the dance floor and she began to sway her hips.

I noticed Edward arrive with Angela on his arm. She looked like she knew something but didn't dare tell or really care that much. Edwards Jaw dropped when he saw Bella grinding to the music I was instantly Jealous. I wished I had that effect on him. Then I saw him and I wanted to kill the Bitch. He had a hard-on just from looking at her dancing fully clothed, if you could call that.

He joined the dance floor with Angela and kept his eyes on Bella until Angela leaned up and whispered in his ear. I noticed he looked away briefly but after about ten minutes his eyes were transfixed on her again.

"So Mike are you enjoying yourself?" she asked as there was a slow dance playing and she wrapped her arms around my neck and Cullen's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Bitch!

"Yeah, I guess" she looked up at me. I was a good three inches taller than her.

"Why didn't you bring a guy if you'd have more fun?" she asked looking really interested.

"Didn't feel like it!" I replied honestly and at least my plan of Jealousy was working.

"So Mike who are you crushing on?" she smiled again and I felt compelled to tell her.

"Edward Cullen" She let out an exasperated sign and pulled away from me.

"I thought we discussed this he's not interested" Her hands were on her hips and I felt a need to Bitch at her after all this was her fault if she hadn't showed up he'd be with me now.

"He is mine Bitch" I roared and I hadn't realised the music had quieten and we had an audience. I noticed Edward was standing on her left. He stood in front of her blocking my view of her.

"I'm hers Mike, get over it Hun" he said in a sarcastic voice and I automatically bitch slapped him.

"Is that the best you got" All of a sudden Bella interceded.

"Edward don't please" He looked at her and back at me. He stuck up his middle finger and walked away towing Bella behind him. I could see Angela looking on and Smiling. Edward and Bella were going to pay. Nobody does that to Michael Newton not unless they had a death wish which clearly they had.

**well what do you think?**

**I know it's a bit of a cliffy.**

**ALTBABE you like it??**

**Love you **

**jen xxx**


	8. we need to talk

**sorry I took so long. Internet was down cause of snow cool I know. Well enjoy..**

Chapter 8

"So your mine are you?" she looked at me and smiled.

"Always" she kissed my lips and traced them with her tongue. She pulled away after a minute.

"Angela?" she asked as we had left the dance and she was aware I had brought Angela.

"Oh she's okay I asked her to come with me to keep me in check and she was doing a brilliant job until you and Mike started fighting over me I might add" I chuckled and she smiled.

"Don't go getting a big head" I had never seen her so relaxed before.

"Bella I'm sorry about your picture" I looked into her eyes as I let her know I was truly sorry.

"Don't worried about it, I'm sure I would have done the same if I was in your room obviously not shirtless and found a picture of you and some petite blonde." I laughed at the memory of me being shirtless and she seemed to cringe beside me.

"Do you want your shirt back?" she asked after awhile and she looked sad at the idea of me saying yes.

"No keep it as a reminder of me" she smiled.

"Why do you plan on going somewhere?"

"Nope"

We walked in silence until we realized neither of us had a way home. Her house was closer so I just walked in that direction with my arm wrapped around her waist but she seemed oblivious.

"Edward"

"Yes?" I asked curious as to her question that pulled us from the silence.

"Why didn't you ask me to the dance?" I knew this question was going to arise so I just told her the truth.

"I was going to but Mike had already asked you and you said yes might I add." She smiled and looked away embarrassed. I took her hand in mine and we kept on walking amazed it wasn't raining.

We arrived at her house a few minutes later. We walked to the porch and she kissed me before we entered.

"So do you want me to introduce you as my boyfriend or is it two soon?" she laughed probably taking in my reaction to the previous statement.

"might be a bit soon as your dad saw you with Mike earlier, he might shoot me" she laughed even harder.

"Charlie knows Mike is gay not that hard to figure out like. But we shall wait. So are you coming in or do you want me to take you home?" She walked to her door awaiting an answer but I simply got up and followed her.

"Hey dad" she peered around the door. Then made her way up the stairs to her room and sat on the bed. I noticed a new picture one of her in my arms after she fell in the quad that day.

"How did you get this?" I asked.

"Angela, I had to beg her not to put it in the paper" I laughed at her expression of pure horror. I also noticed another Picture of her and Jacob but this time I understood. She watched me as I took in her room for the second time.

"Back in a sec" she grabbed a but of clothing that looked familiar and came back a few minutes later in nothing but my shirt, which definitely looked better on her than it ever did on me.

"So are you going to dance with me?" She asked

"Sure" she turned on the CD player and picked a song and the lyrics hit me.

_If I'm not loving you I don't want no one else, it's true_

_Baby I'd much rather be myself, cos you_

_You do something to me I cant describe, that's why_

_That's why I gotta say… That's why I gotta say_

_I don't wanna fall in love unless I'm loving you_

_Unless I'm loving you_

_I don't wanna fall in love unless I'm loving you_

_Unless I'm loving you._

_We danced to that song for about a half an hour. It was our song. I'd listen to it everyday to remind me off her. She made her way to the bed and lay down and then there was silence as I noticed she'd fallen asleep. I sat in the chair in the corner and just watched her peacefully sleeping._

"_Edward is so sexy" She said about an hour later and I thought she had woken, but then another sentence left her mouth about Mike being a frigid bitch. I didn't want to know probably some Arizonian expression but I didn't dwell on it. I just thought about the comment of my sexiness which was clearly true. I was a god sure._

_I pasted out after a while. I woke when I heard her moving around she was getting dressed and I could see her thong over the lip of her trousers. I didn't alert her to the fact I was awake. She was topless why wreck that image for myself. This might be the closest I'd ever get to it. She looked over in my direction._

"_Edward I know your awake you pervert" I smiled as did she. She was dressed now. She had a tight top on that was inappropriate for school but I liked it. Well I did until she pulled up the zip on her hoody._

_We went to school together after she got me some of Charlie's clothes she thought would fit. It was ridiculous of them to hold the dance on a school night._

_Bella was greeted by a huge posse of girls and looked at me when they dragged her away. She'd kill me later. Alice came up to me then._

"_You didn't come home Edward?" I could tell what she was debating in her head._

"_No" was all I said in response. Mike decided to past then and Alice being Alice muttered Gay. He turned to glare. _

"_You can't say anything Bitch at least I know what I am Edward doesn't know what he wants"_

"_Well he did discover he doesn't want you" she stuck up her finger and walked over to Jasper as she knew nobody would dare cross him._

_I walked around cheered by the idea that Alice had finally excepted me, maybe now I could actually hang with Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, Fucksake Emmett was my brother and I barely spoke to the dude as Alice had me on parole or something._

_Bella found me at lunch and looked completely gazed. "Don't leave me alone with them again please" she looked close to tears._

"_Okay" I reassured her. We were about to take our seats when Alice gestured for us to join her jasper Rosalie and Emmett. I was definitely reaccepted by her. I reached for Bella's hand and dragged her off behind me. I sat down and introduced her to everyone and she smiled sweetly even thought I was pretty sure she saw the look Rosalie had thrown at her._

_The day pasted in a blur and I noticed girls come up to Bella and ask how she got Edward Cullen she just smiled at them and whispered in there ear which was really pissing me off. I'd like to know the answer to that myself but I guess I already knew. We wanted each other and in the end we got each other. I just wanted to know what she was telling other people._

_She dropped me off at home._

"_Bella I'll come by tonight" She waved and blew me a kiss as she drove off. God she was something else._

_I ate dinner with the family where I noticed Emmett was looking at me funny but then again he always had a weird face. After that I left for Bella's._

_I got there about half eight and I could see her bedroom light was on and she was standing by the window with her back to it from the looks of things. That was odd._

_I knocked on her door and she came down to answer followed closely by Charlie who looked like he was about to kill. He still had his Gun belt on and for once I actually felt scared._

"_Hi" she pulled me into a hug. I smiled at her._

"_Hello Chief Swan" _

"_Its Charlie" he said with an exasperated sign and made his way to the front room with a can of Bulmer's in his hand. Bella grabbed my hand and pulled me back out the front door to sit on her porch._

"_Edward we need to talk!" _

**Well what do you think like?? Please review**

**Altbabe??**

**Jen xxx**


	9. Do you really think?

** hey sorry this is really short but. I think this story is nearly over sob sob well there another seven chapters at least might be more. . so read and enjoy.**

Chapter Nine

I didn't like the sound of this. I knew what happened in the movies. She was going to break up with me after one day. Was I really that bad of a boyfriend. I looked into her eyes but they showed nothing but happiness so I began to relax slightly.

"Edward all the girls keep asking me are you bi? I know you claim you are but do you actually think its true?" Did she just use the word claim.

Then again maybe I might not be. I mean I was Bi for all of oh 3 months and suddenly I felt like my world would end if I didn't have this one girl.

"I don't know" I replied honestly. I couldn't tell anymore. I was certain I'd found myself over the summer months but maybe I was wrong maybe I was running from the thing I wanted to be. Now I was more confused than ever.

" Bella I gotta go" I didn't give her a chance to reply I kissed her lips and made my way to my car.

"Edward" she called just as I was getting into the car, I turned to look at her. "I'm sorry I upset you" I smiled and got in my car and drove away thinking to myself.

I wouldn't be able to face her or Mike tomorrow. My life was to hectic, to fucked up. In general it was just a joke a big fat joke that made no sense.

I needed to go to Chicago visit my mothers grave and what not sort shit out.

I text Bella that night and told her I'd see her in four days as I had to return home for awhile.

She apologized again and hoped I wasn't still upset and to enjoy my trip. I assured her I would although I wasn't sure if that was a lie.

I made my way through the airport in Port Angeles and boarded my flight to Chicago to go and sort myself out. Esme had been worried when I told her I was leaving for a few days but Carlisle assured her it was for the best.

I boarded my flight and thought about Bella the entire time and how four days seem so long. I wondered if she was thinking about me. Thinking about her thinking about me was beginning to get to me as I wondered would it be good or bad things she was thinking. I was supposed to be sorting myself out not driving myself fucking crazy.

I reached Chicago before dark and realised there and then that I was never truly Bi and that it was just a distraction as I had nothing in my life to keep me entertain and being Bi was just the thing I wanted.

Now I had four days to kill before I could get back to my Bella. I visited Elizabeth's grave every day and place an orchid on her grave the day I left. It was her favourite flower and she sell of then all the time.

I landed in Port Angeles and was surprised to see Bella waiting in the airport for me. She was clearly asleep. I strolled up behind her. "Hey Sexy" I whispered in her ear and she turned her head and kissed my cheek.

"How was your trip?" she smiled.

"Not as good as being here with you"

"So I'm forgiven?"

"There was nothing to forgive, you were right I was just distracting myself and when I found you I knew I didn't need a distraction anymore" she smiled and blushed.

"So do you want to come back to mine?" she looked at me and nodded. That was the first time Bella stayed in my house. It was pure torture having her in my bed but not touching her like I wanted to. I didn't want to move too fast.

**oh so edward's being sweet what do you think of it?? **

**em next chapter should be up soon it's already written haha so I know what happens *evil laugh***

**haha Altbabe you better be posting something soon now this is up..**

**jen xx**


	10. Kiss, kiss

**okay sorry this took so long. Thanks to everybody whos added this to there favourites but I love reviews and this stry just not feeling the love. Think about discontinuing it your views? enjoy**

Chapter 10.

School the next day was Hectic . I was furious when I found out Bella was back talking to Mike after he had had it out with her practically in front of the entire school. Was she well in the head?

What bugged me the most was the fact that she got mad and said I was being too controlling and walked away from me leaving me dazed. Of course I was being controlling she was mine and nobody else's. I was hardly going to share her with Mike.

I couldn't stay away from her, it was weird but I felt like something was missing when she wasn't around or when I knew she was upset. I was going to make it up to her.

"Bella I called her over at lunch but she wouldn't look at me and remained in the queue" Way to make me work for it girlfriend. I walked over at my own pace.

"Will you come out with me tonight?"

"Why if I just have to put up with your Jealousy?"

"I promise I'll behave please" I was beginning to sound desperate.

"Fine just stop moaning at me please"

"Kay pick you up at eight" I walked away as the bell rang leaving her staring behind me.

I arrived at ten past eight knowing girls normally get annoyed when the guy is late. I was actually afraid she would hurt me. She seemed that way inclined.

I knocked on the door bracing myself for the worst. But she opened it in this body hugging number. She looked absolutely stunning..

"Wow" she smiled.

"Glad you like it, I swear I can barely breath"

"Do you want to change?" I asked worried about her health.

"Eh no, if I going out with you I have to compare to your handsomeness" I blushed at her comment.

"Bella you look beautiful to me no matter what" this time it was her turn to blush.

Our drive to Port Angeles was rather short as I tended to drive over the speed limit. Bella kept her eyes closed for the entire duration muttering prayers under her breath.

I walked into La Bella Italia were I was greeted by Mike and Jessica.

"Oh mike your hair is so cool" she purred and I wanted to gag. I was actually going to be sick but Bella started laughing.

"Does she realise she sounds like a strangled cat?" Jessica noticed her comment and sent daggers in her direction. I couldn't control the laughter that was consuming me.

We sat in the table beside Mike and Jessica's attempt at flirting. We tried to hide our sniggers but we were totally unsuccessful. I swear I should have had a whole burnt into my head from the looks I was receiving but I couldn't stop laughing.

"I have to powder my nose" Bella got up and walked away leaving me on my own.

I wasn't prepared for what happened next, a set of lips came crashing down on mine but they weren't the set I was craving. I opened my eyes to see Bella walking out of the restaurant and Jessica staring into my eyes.

I pushed her away "What the fuck Jess? I'm with Bella"

She stood up and released me. "Not for much longer"

I walked out of the restaurant to see Bella get into a cab with Mike hot on her heels.

**oh so cliffie I aware this very short but what do you think? review please**

**Jen xxx**


	11. Ambulances

**okay so very short but this story is nearing an end so ideas for an ending needed due to writers block. HELP!!**

**go read so off with you. Enjoy.**

Fuck what had I done. I knew it was Mike you had arranged this fucking bitch was so dead and Jessica could she be any more pathetic. She knew Mike was just using her to get to me and it worked..

I arrived at Bella's house and I could see Mike hugging her. Oh he was pushing it.

"Get away from her now Newton"

"Oh is someone Jealous" Then he did the unthinkable he kissed her. She tried to get away but he was to strong so I hit him sending him backwards but he didn't fall. Unfortunately.

He lunged at me and I dodge him but I wasn't prepared for his next hit into my stomach. Bella screamed as I buckled over. "Mike stop please" she pleaded but he just kept on hitting me repeatedly. I got up and hit him back. I split his lip and the blood started gushing out of his mouth. I was ecstatic.

"Serves you right" I laughed at him as he wiped the blood away with the back of his hand. He looked at the blood. I could see the anger bubbling inside of him and he pulled out a knife.

"Mike put it away, this is stupid now" I wasn't taking on a crazy person who clearly needed psychiatric help.

"No, This is her fault if she hadn't come here you'd be with me" He lunged towards Bella but I stood in front of her and his Knife went straight into my chest he pulled it out and stuck it in again but never once did I scream.

"Mike stop please" she screamed.

"If I can't have him no one can" He stabbed me again and I collapsed to the floor. I heard the knife drop and saw him run away.

I was aware of Bella pulling out her phone

" Daddy it's Edward he's been stabbed" she sobbed . She hung up then.

"Edward you'll be alright I promise, I wont leave you I swear" she sobbed as she covered the stab wounds with pieces of clothing.. There was a gust of wind and then I lost consciousness.

I opened my eyes and blinked I was aware Bella was still sobbing over me.

"Edward I'm sorry" she cried.

"Shh" I breathed and she looked down at me.

"The ambulance will be here soon, I'm sorry Edward this is my fault" Her sobs were becoming harder.

"You will be alright I promise" I looked at her and then I lost consciousness for the second time.

**what you think??**

**ENDING NEEDED**

**IDEAS??**

**jen xx**


	12. love you

** I am so sorry this took so long my internet has been down again nothing unusual there like. Enjoy and review. Must post my other story too before the internet goes again.**

B.P.O.V

What had I done? This was my fault, I should never have come to Forks then Edward wouldn't be lying in my arms bleeding to death. I wished I could help him.

I could hear the sirens now, why weren't they coming faster, he was dying and I could do nothing, I vowed that I'd become a doctor.

I never even told him I loved him but I hoped he knew. Okay we hadn't been going out long but he always made me feel special.

Please would they hurry up and get here. His face was losing colour and he lost consciousness twice so that couldn't be good.

"Bella" I looked up through my tears.

"Dad" I mouthed.

"What happened?"

"Mike Newton" and then I lost track of the conversation.

"Put him in the ambulance" the paramedic in charge stated.

"Where do you think your going?" she asked as I made my way towards the ambulance.

"With him" I replied through tears.

"Who are you?"

"His girlfriend, now let me in the ambulance he's dying and your interrogating me" she looked insulted but let me in. I held his hand the whole way there. I promised not to leave him and I wouldn't.

We reached the hospital in ten minutes as the village was rather quiet. We were rushed inside where I was greeted by the Cullen family. I didn't leave go of Edwards hand until they pulled him into theatre Carlisle had insisted on being his doctor.

"Bella what happened?" Esme Alice and Emmett asked at the same time.

"It was my fault" I sobbed "I never should have come here and this wouldn't have happened, it's all my fault" Esme pulled me into her arms.

"Darling it's not, you're the only one that makes him truly happy" she reassured me.

"I doubt he's happy now, He got stabbed trying to protect me from Mike" I cried and she soothed me.

My dad was in and out of the hospital asking me questions every now and then. I was aware Rosalie and Jasper were here but I couldn't take my eyes of the door Edward had gone through.

At half eleven Carlisle came out. "He's stable but unconscious" He looked at me and back to Esme.

"Bella what happened?" he looked near tears.

"Darling I'll tell you" Esme responded.

"Carlisle can I see him?" I asked and he nodded.

"Room 201" I nodded and walked slowly down the hall. I walked into a room clearly this was a private room as there were no other patients I sat in the seat beside the bed and took his hand in mine again. I began to cry again as I watched his chest heave up and down.

If he died what would I do? I'd never forgive myself ever. I fell asleep and dreamt of Edward. I woke early the next room aware everybody was in the room.

"Bella sweetie you should go eat" Esme suggested.

"No" I replied

"Your not doing yourself any favours Bella and it wont help if you end up in hospital to" I looked at her.

"I promised I wouldn't let go off his hand or leave him " my tears were threatening to fall again. I couldn't leave him after putting him in this position.

"Bella we'll go get food and bring you back something" She smiled adoringly at me.

"Thank you Esme and I really am sorry"

"Bella it's not your fault" Alice said and they all nodded in agreement and left each one attempting to hug me on there way out.

I looked down on him aware I had tears in my eyes.

"Edward I don't know if you can hear me but I'm so sorry, It was all my fault, I never even got to tell you that I love you"

The heart monitor picked up but besides that there was no change. The tears consumed me. Esme was the first to re-enter the room.

"Bella darling can I talk to you?"

"Sure but can we stay here I cant live him?" She smiled and nodded.

" Bella Carlisle and I have noticed your very close to him and I wanted to ask him do you love him?" She was very observant and I knew I could tell her anything.

"Yes I do" the tears flowed down my cheeks again.

"Oh Bella" she wrapped her arms around me. I felt a slight twinge in my hand and I looked on Edward who's eyes had began too flutter. "Edward?"

" Carlisle he waking up" I heard Esme call. His eyes focused on me and he smiled.

"I love you too" I smiled and kissed him.

"That was so cute" Alice chirped from the background and I turned to look at her. I still had tears in my eyes.

"Bella are you alright?" He asked and he winced in pain as he tried to turn to face me.

"I think we should give them some privacy" Carlisle intervened. I turned and mumbled "Thank you" Each paired of as they left Esme and Carlisle in front, Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett.

"Of course, just worried about you" I smiled " But I guess I had no reason too"

"Bella did you mean what you said about loving me?"

"Of course" I smiled and he smiled in response.

**Hope you like it **

**love ya Jen xxx**


	13. love you too

**this actually isnt a finished chapter but it ends okay but I felt those of you who do read this deserved an update. I actually kinda have Writers block so please Ideas welcome.. Happy ending? Sad endings? IDEAS please...**

Chapter 13 Edward

"I love you too" It escaped my lips before I even had my eyes open. I noticed how a smile spread across her lips at my words. I attempted to turn towards her but I couldn't. I noticed that I winced in pain.

"Bella did you mean what you said about loving me?"

"Of course" She smiled and I found myself smiling in response.

"Bella can you get Carlisle as I can't feel my legs" the shock on her face was evident but as long as she was there it didn't matter to me.

"Carlisle" she screamed she wasn't leaving go as her fingers clutched mine tighter. I was aware he rushed into the room followed by my family and friends.

"Bella what's wrong?"

"His legs" she sobbed quietly and Carlisle began to look at me.

"What about your legs Edward?" The concern was evident in his voice.

"I can't feel them I tried to move earlier and I couldn't" He was at the end of my bed looking at charts.

"Esme get another Doctor for me please" Everyone was looking at me pity on there face except Bella who was looking out the window.

I knew what she was thinking. How could she love me when I wouldn't be able to walk or doing normal things. She wouldn't just be my girlfriend she'd be my carer and I didn't like it.

"Bella" She turned to face me smiling but tears were on her face.

"Yep" Her voice was dead all emotion gone.

"You can leave if you want to" All eyes were on her now.

"Edward Cullen, just because you are paralyzed does not mean I don't love you but if you want me to leave" She went to take her hand from mine but I grasped it tighter. She looked at me again and smile a new round of tears in her eyes.

"So Carlisle what's going to happen to me?" I asked knowing that most likely I'd be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.

"It turns out that the knife got through to your spinal cord and managed to chip the bone hence leaving you paralyzed. There is a procedure that can be preformed but the outcome depends on the patient. So Edward the decision is yours?" Esme eyes were clouded over with tears but Carlisle Emmett and Jasper were looking straight at me.

"Can I talk to Bella for a minute alone?"

"Sure Children" Carlisle cradled Esme to his chest while Jasper consoled Alice and Rosalie and Emmett talked in whispers.

"Bella, look at me" She looked up from the spot on the floor she had been staring at.

"Hmm?"

"What do you think?"

"I think I never should have came to Forks then you'd never be in this position, it's all my fault."

"Don't say that it could have happened anyway"

"Edward you know that's not true both you and I know that you wouldn't be paralyzed if I hadn't of come here"

"But then I wouldn't have found love which is much more important"

"I love you, you know that?"

"Love you too Bella, now the procedure what do you think?"

" Well, I think if it's something you want to do you should do it, being able to walk is a gift one that was taken away from you unfairly, so I think you should do it but just remember it might not work so don't get your hopes up incase it doesn't work" She smiled but I could see the sadness in her eyes.

"Edward you know no matter what happens I'll be here" I smiled but I knew she could see the worry in my eyes and I hoped she didn't know why. Maybe she did love me but I knew what she was thinking. The only reason she was staying with me was because she thought this was her fault.

**well what do you think I know it was short and all but your views.**

**Again Ideas welcome...**

**Love ya jen xxx**


	14. interruptions

**okay so here it is.. I know I said i was rewritting the ending and I am but I felt this chapter well few paragraphs should really be put up before the ending as so I can decide whether or not to just finish this is one chapter or just continue on wiht this story also i am deleting the previous ending to this story as I find it rather stupid having two endings.. Enjoy..**

Staring at the wall. I didn't want everyone to know how weak I was. I wanted to have this operation. It meant returning to my normal life. One where I could walk, skip, run cater to myself without anyone's help. But more importantly I would be there for my Bella be her rock when she needed me.

I knew I could be there for her without the use of my legs but I wouldn't be able to protect her if there was ever a reason I needed to. It would be her protecting me and that was not the way thing work. I was suppose to be the protector I was the man and she was my vulnerable Bella who blushed for no apparent reason.

She probably didn't realise I had notice this but I did. She was mine and nobody else's. I just hoped that wouldn't change if I did end up in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.

"Edward?" Her voice pulled me from my thoughts and back to reality. I didn't need to look at her to know that there was worry in her eyes.

"yes love" I didn't want her to think I didn't love her so I made a point out of letting her no.

"are you sure you want to do this?" She moved so I had no option but to look at her. "Cause you know I'm still going to love you no matter what you decide to do" there was a tear in her eye and I couldn't have her cry over me.

"Isabella Swan I love you more than anything and I have never been more certain in my life. I cant see myself living out the rest of my life in the restraint of a wheelchair. Not many people would have the option to get this operation Bella." I looked into her eyes for what seem like forever when in reality it had only been a matter of moment.

"Its my only option" I grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to me making my intentions clear.. She leant forward knowing I didn't have the ability to move myself forward as the stab wounds were till causing me a lot of pain.

She pulled away when we heard someone clearing there throat. Rather loudly I might add.. She stopped to whisper in my ear.. "Just don't get your hopes up" she kissed my cheek again before pulling away.

I was surprised to see that it was Alice who had interrupted normally It tends to be Carlisle who interrupts our moments…

"Alice?" I asked now slightly annoyed at her. I mean I was supposed to be taken to Theatre in less that thirty minutes and she parades on in here like she owes the place when I was trying to have a conversation with my angel.

"What Edward, I only came to tell you that Carlisle was coming. Its okay to be seen kissing every now and then by a parental but you and Bella seemed to be getting caught more than once on a daily basis" I looked to Bella to see the blush that was inevitably making its way up her pale skin.I knew I loved her I just hoped she would be able to wait for me and make it true this for us.

**okay yes it was weird and I think my style of writing as improved somewhat since begiining this story.. anyway review..**

**love you all Jen xx**


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